imogen 的个人资料lilmisslostit's emporium...照片日志列表更多  |  工具 帮助 |
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11月29日 Just out of reachWhile browsing Ebay yesterday...yes, I am at work, but...
 ... I came across a truck for sale, not unlike my little blue one over there>>>>>>It is a Leyland FG but the bigger version with a beavertail (see yellow truck>>>>) rather than a walkthrough, in fact, here's the link...
It's not far away, geographically, and the bidding started at £100...it is now up to £510 and still rising!!!  While it was at £100 alot of ideas passed through my mind while I stared longingly at the little green truck...
I seemed to be making a place for it in my life, running through scenarios...not unlike the newly reunited couple, running through a field of corn and flinging themselves into each others arms...in slow motion, of course!!!
My daydream...(or is it scheming)...included the truck with it's very own parking space in the back...sat there facing the house (more than the good old reliable astra gets anyday!!!) gleaming in the winter sun.
Taking it for a run down to the shops...I thought about driving it the 30 odd miles to work every week!!! Then remembered what that entailed (no power steering and lots of shakyness!) So...blatting about it was...local calls, so to say.
I had the front panel off...i won't insult it by calling it a bonnet (she says deleting the word bonnet...hehe) and my arms were greasy with engine oil up to the elbows...a much loved, once upon a time pursuit of mine!
The beavertail was removed and replaced with a wooden flatbed, with sides painted in the same green with red brackets. More practical, I dreamed, and space saving too!!!
I even persuaded my beloved to buy it for me for my christmas present!!!
The bubble popped later, when I spoke to D...in all innocence (yeah, right!) I told him about the little green FG...the first thing he said was...
'Where are we going to put it?'
I told him. He said...
'yeah...right', dripping with sarcasm.
I drew the picture of us both working on the truck together (a dream of ours...but in his mind it's some classic car...I prefer something a bit bigger) for him. He said...
'yeah...right' (you get the jist!)
I told him he could buy it for me for Christmas...
'YEAH RIGHT!!!'
My bubble burst...then the price went up and that definately wasn't going to happen!!! Now I have got my daydreams and to them another one is added...could I have persuaded him to buy it for me if the price had stayed low?
I dream that I could of!!! 11月27日 My comment to those that replied...lilmisslostit
Thank y'all for your comments.
Twonk...keep up the good work hun...the new ones rock!
Fluff...please see next addition and thank you for your comments, kind lady, and please rant as much as you will!!! And, please, don't apologise again...there is no reason for you to do so. The reason why I started my space was to meet new people and to share opinions...not that I am bored with my friends, people interest me full stop! The fact that my memoirs seemed to silence everyone for whatever reason defeats the object of me starting this blog so I will stick to my guns and finish it at home...I much prefer to hear from y'all!!! I admire your motives behind your blogs Fluff. I must admit, mine are truly selfish...I write for myself and for my fading memory...and for meeting new people like yourself. For me, it is cathartic and, possibly, stops me from loosing my marbles...sort of like a faceless counsellor!!!
As for no name, which isn't bro...is that you Roger?
Imx 27 November 17:44
Just realised that you probably wouldn't see this if I had left it in comments!!!
The how to of...Chocolate cuts!!!
Firstly...chill chocolate until very hard. The freezer is beneficial but a refridgerator will be just as effective.
Remove chocolate from chilling device ready for ingestion.
Drool...
Snap chocolate in normal manner...thumbs on top either side of breaking point, press as vigourously as needed for desired effect.
Depending on chocolates rigidity after chilling, sharp shards will explode from the chocolate in random directions.
Look confused and hurt as shard slices through thumb...ow.
Eat chocolate in condolence and revenge. 11月20日 massages and bird rescueMy weekend was a load shorter this week as I was overtiming it on Friday and from this week my hours change so I am in on a monday. Somehow, though, I feel like I have done loads...or atleast been busy doing nothing!!!
I seemed to have watched loads of films, which is a rarity for me as I tend to survive on a diet of CSI and Stargate with a pinch of Ray Mears.
One film disturbed me so much I have vowed never to go to Australia...ever...even if you paid me too (sorry all you Aussies) I will stick with...'New Zealand is more my type of place'!!!
We have a friend who is also a masseur and provides his services to us in exchange for being fed and watered (and not with water!) He has a vendetta against a huge knot in my lower back...it is full on war!!! Yesterday night he had his latest battle with the knot from hell... and I felt wonderful. my alarm went off this morning and I jumped straight out of bed, no back pain at all(not even my kidneys, which is surprising
 ) and headed off to work all bright eyed and bushy tailed.Now...I haven't particularily worked mondays for our organisation before...if I have I think I would have deleted them from memory, they are so manic. I think my good mood lasted until lunchtime and my stress started to arch my back and fill it back up with all those lil knots that my friend had removed last night!!!
All I could think is...it was nice while it lasted...now I have to wait another month for the battle to continue. I can't wait to be pain free and 10 foot tall again...I wonder if my friend would move in permanently so I could have massage on a daily basis?
As for the cats...
Hoki caught another starling on Sunday...which he wasn't really trying to kill...in fact, he just seemed to be carrying about by the scruff of the neck carefully and putting it back down again...sort of like he was posing it for a picture!!!
I watched him out the window with utter confusion until I realised that I should really be out there rescuing the poor thing!
I locked the cats in and set the startled but un holey bird on the table outside to rest and recoupbefore it made it's own way back to my roof.
About 10 minutes later, Sushi was pacing the living room window and the bird was still out there...I thought for the sake of both of them and for the starling to get some sun, I would move it to the bottom of the garden on to a chair (at this point it shat down my black combats)
Somewhere in the next hour, the cats made their way back outside, without my knowledge and carried the bird back to the house...again Hoki was doing somekind of cat/bird social experiment on it...and again, I removed the bird and placed it on the garage roof. Who knows what happened after that as evening drew in...
The boys do sort of suit their new image. Hoki as the slightly loopy professor with the mad staring eyes and his not so bright sidekick, Sushi. In fact, if they could speak, I'm sure they would have Transylvanian accents!!!
One last note from the weekend...I cut myself on chocolate!!! Yes!!! It is possible and it hurts...still!!!
As for the start of my memoirs, I have noticed that the comments have depleted on my space since I started writing...and it emotionally overwhelmed my friend, the masseur...to tears!!! SO...from now on, I will continue writing my life in private AND if any of you are REALLY interested, I will be happy to send it on by email as the chapters are written...there's more to come. Thankyou for all the positive feedback so far.
For the others of you that it bores or shocks...it's my life and I wouldn't change it for the world. The reason I am writing it, is for myself and my loved ones before my memories fade entirely...I feel priveliged that I have history to put down on paper, one that raises all types of emotion in people! It is my legacy.
11月8日 My Brain HurtsAfter not finishing Part 2 until 12 last night,I went to bed and managed to wake myself up, somehow, at 6.45? I don't think my body has got used to winter time yet and is still running on BST!!!
I have had a none stop day at work today...but it has been cool. I like it when it's like this...manic! I thrive...but only if I'm in the right frame of mind.
I always look forward to going home on a Thursday and seeing my boys and my bloke though!!!
The fair starts in town today...the last one of the season. I BLOODY HATE IT!!!
 It is held in the town centre, they squeeze the monumental rides into the market place and various carparks around town. All roads are closed and the usually heavy traffic becomes torential...in a jammed way!!!
I would love to go and look at the trucks but I daren't set foot because I know I will loose my calm. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry...lol!
Luckily, I can head out of town tomorrow and not be back until it is all over for another year.
Anyway...I am resting up tonight, so no more of my tale before next week. Enjoy what has been written so far and. please, leave your comments!!!
11月7日 Domestic explosion and Part 2iiJust a quick one first to tell you about the amazing party we had at the weekend, surrounded by family and friends (minus Cunno) There was fire, bangs, pretty lights, much vodka, singing and mulled cider.
 Bottled cider in pan.
Add cinnamon, cloves, ginger, orange juice, sliced lemon, orange and apple.
Heat up slowly and drink warm...yum!!!
I think cousin Si might have added a wee dram of vodka at some point too
 A chair was broken...too many people sitting on it.
I lost a bottle of vodka and found it broken in the morning...probably a good job!!!
Two people were sick...in porcelain thank the stars!
I singstared drunkly until I could sing no more...and got some dirty dancing in with the girls too!!! Thanks to Spot for his Jonny Cash rendition!
Sunday was spent dazed and confuzzled, asleep and cleaning the whole of the downstairs floors...hooray for hard flooring and the incentive to lift the rugs before hand!!!
The cats survived the fireworks...after sniper crawling across the garden like they were under fire, bless!!! They had learnt by Sunday night though!!!
I was given a beautiful bracelet of cousin Sam...which broke twice, so I left it until Sunday to mend!!!
The fire was large and hot...and didn't singe my prize passiflora.
Our fireworks rocked the village...thanks to the lovely H and her bloke.
I'm sure I remember a bottle of champers somewhere along the line too...
Once upon a Time Part 2ii
Deja vu
I have thought long and hard over the time I have been away from writing about the next week in this telling...I remember the following weekend was at Llanbister and, now, as I write this, more memories return.
Of the roundabout; of the 'James' red car...which ended up on site with us a few years later. Still not much of the weekend though.
I will move on to explain the title of this chapter...
The following weekend we aimed for the Brecon Beacons and the last in the Welsh trilogy, Trecastle.
As we climbed the twisting lanes of Cymru, I remembered back to a dream that I had had a few months past. Of the steep lane up to site and the handmade sign on the side of the road, offering us the path onto the festival, just as I was seeing with my own eyes at that moment. The feeling of disbelief was so strong, I couldn't resist telling my fellow travellers of what I was witnessing.
Then, I felt it was a sign of fate...that I was meant to be in this place of mist and greeness. Now, I know, it was more to warn me of the emotional upheaval to come that weekend.
Sweet Tea
My boyfriend had always been feisty...and not in a good way. That weekend was ruled by his attack on me, and still is.
The love and care of the girls in the big red truck, after I ran from him, reinstated my urge to be free.
They gave me tea with sugar, a drink that I don't usually touch to this day...but that day it was the sweetest nectar in the world. Not unlike a peace pipe. There was more in the mug than a hot beverage, and the understanding and bond between myself and the girls grew. My hair had began to naturally matt, they showed me how to separate it into dreadlocks.
I felt cared for and heard for the first time in a long while.
I felt at peace and, again, comfort and a sense of being.
Separation and Reunion
There was no improvement in our relationship after that. It became worse if anything. There were good moments, but they were tainted by fear of violence and abandonment.
For the next few weeks we moved between festivals...I grew more confident, in myself, in my surroundings and in the trust I had for this life and the people.
Cloud Nine at Thornton in the Ribble valley came. We arranged for one of the lads, with the blackest of dreadlocks, to drive us to Skipton to sign on. I remember years later, reminding him of that journey. Joking with him about snapping the ignition key in the door lock and how apologetic he was.
I had been accepted as easily as I had taken them into my heart.
There was a mutual respect between us all. One that allowed us to show humility, arrogance...
and allowed us the comfort of giving and receiving ridicule without hurt.
Kirby Steven followed.
The site crossed the road into the village on a small part of common land. I washed in the fresh clean water of the river, bracing yet embracing...addictive in it's sting of reality.
I had decided that it was time to head back to the North.
To run from the hurt and ridicule provided by my boyfriend-that-was. Mum offered to pick me up from Skipton the day I signed again.
The police had closed off both ends of the site. Black Morias patrolled the lane...cocky in the fact they could drive through site. This was familiar territory now and naivity and fear had been replaced with pride and resentment.
A calm would pass over site, like the second before a water drop might fall...
Stillness.
Anticipation of the drop that was to be or not to be.
Relaxed but watching and waiting...
The Transit van was swapped for a little yellow Bedford CF...bright like the sun with a beaming face and sparkly eyes, spritely in it's knowledge of freedom.
I was beginning to see the vehicles as more than just transport...each one had personality. In their shape, their bumps and scratches. In the way they started and ran. When something becomes part of daily life, when dependency rules over leisure. When you learn the idiosyncrasys of that something...then it becomes real. A relationship is formed...
I learnt how to read things, how to open my senses wider, to accept that what I had ignored in the past.
We were told to move...
No buts.
The convoy headed North, towards Stanhope moor...further from Skipton. I never got to meet my mum there, but she had a good day out...it was meant to be that way.
I spoke to her from the phone box at the end of site. She agreed to pick me up from there. Nervously I waited for her to appear, not knowing what she would think. We drove through site to the van. Through the music and wood smoke. Through the lights and strange shadows that had become my home.
I said my goodbyes...to my boyfriend-that-was and to my beloved Saff.
To my friends with promises of hasty return.
I remember the day clearly and with that I can find the date...Ninth of September Nineteen-Ninety-One. The day of the Meadowell Riots.
It was dark when we returned.
I watched, in shock, as the sky glowed orange with flames and the spotlights from the helicopters looked solid in the thickening smoke.
In the background, mum was ringing through her address book. Singing the praises and beauty of site to her friends.
Disbelief at this other world.
Shellshocked and far from my place of peace and comfort.
I was frightened of the place I had grew up.
Que cera cera
Boyfriend-that-was returned about a week later, without the sunshine CF, but with my precious Saffron.
We met in the pub...including the cat, secreted in his coat.
We carried on a failed relationship for a short while after. Until he blamed me for an attempted attack on myself which occured one night after walking from his house.
Frightened.
To this day, I feel anxiety in town...senses heightened, but not in a good way.
The drop of water, but not calm.
Scars to remind me.
In my mind I was focused.
I passed my driving test first time in the following January.
I attended a business course and arranged for funding.
I started my own business to manufacture and sell T Shirts at festivals.
Then I saw my truck in Autotrader.
Like the girls' big red truck.
An FG...my truck.
She was mine that week.
Pies and Sausages she was called. ERX 26V. I don't remember any of the others that followed with such detail.
Thanks to friends, we got her shipshape and ready to go.
I am still amazed at how easy the transition between driving a small hatchback to driving a three and a half ton truck was.
What will be, will be.
Fate, and a little hard work had shaped my destiny.
This time I would not return.
11月1日 Part 2iOnce upon a time-Part 2 i
Birthday treat
The North didn't last long.
My soul yearned to be elsewhere.
I could feel the pull in my chest, my heart reaching out, crying out.
I can feel it now, like an ache in my chest and my belly. Not a crushing feeling, but a pull on my very being, if my ribs were to open, it would be able to fly free. Soar. Find it's true home.
It was to be my 19th birthday that weekend.
Wales in high summer beckoned. We packed the van and set off. Just the three of us this time and the animals. I had bought Saff a little harness, for her safety as well as my peace of mind. It was painted red, gold and green...and looked stunning against her brindle coat.
Happy Daze
Bala.
The journey wasn't without it's tests. The alternator lead kept coming undone and we had no lights for most the journey. Enough spark plug and push power to get us there eventually.
Now, I need to remember order again.
Or maybe I don't...the memories are what matters, not the obsessive compulsive arranging.
The need for control.
These words have a way of their own.
I must learn to trust them.
The memories want to flow from my head...
Town on the back of a D series flat bed, the wind in our hair, the pride in my soul.
Making patties for the first time in a friends trailer, with spring onions in. How can something so simple taste so good? Eating one hash flapjack and passing out in the afternoon and nearly missing my birthday.
The privilege of the lunar eclipse that night. Sitting under the clear sky, watching nature unveil her beauty.
Watching a plastic pig, Reliant, flare up towards the sky...a burnt offering to gods of mischief and revelry.
Deciding not to return to the North.
I was hoping to finish this tonight but work has been calling, hence the part 2i.
I head home tomorrow, so will have to leave it there for this week. Next week...part2ii!!!
...and an update on our weekend do with possibly some more yummy beverage recipes.
Good night all
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